Systems check

OK, Rosie was born three weeks ago today. Time to do a little systems check and see how I'm doing. Well, I'm still having some pains around the incision but I've been told that's normal. Still leaking various fluids and if I don't shower every day I start to smell like a barn animal. Also normal.

I've been very pleasantly surprised at how quickly my stomach has gone down this time. In fact I'm sitting here quite comfortably wearing a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans as I type. The downside of this is that I have no excuse to keep wearing my maternity clothes and have had to clear them out, packing away a few of the special pieces. I did shed a few tears as I put them all away because I don't plan to ever wear them again. The next time those clothes see the light of day will be when I get them out for Rosie if she decides to have children one day. Or maybe for Nikki, though I think they would be huge on her. Don't get me wrong, I still have a pretty sizable spare tire around my middle which seems to be filled with jelly, but the bump is gone. :-(

As for Rosie, she is blossoming. We went to Baby Clinic yesterday and she now weighs 8lb 12oz! She's passed Toby's birthweight and is becoming a gorgeous chubby little thing. Tobes always had skinny little chicken legs and even now doesn't have an ounce of fat on him. Rosie is very different. She has sweet little rolls on her thighs and a couple of chins. So yummy.

She's eating well, sleeping well and pooping like a champ. The other day I was changing her nappy when she pulled her legs up and did a big poo. In the split second before the poo came out my Mommy-brain thought along these lines - "It'll take me an hour to wash and dry the changing table cover but I can wash my hand in five minutes". So I caught Rosie's poo in my hand. A little wholegrain mustard-looking worm of baby poop. I must be in love.

Some more pics

Getting to know Rosie

Well, here we are. Me and two children all alone. Mom and Dad left on Saturday and J officially went back to work today. He's going to take a couple of days off over the next few weeks just to help me transition and so that I can go to some doctor's appointments without two children in tow, but we're back to 'normal' for the most part.

Not too bad so far. Had a couple of hairy moments when changing Rosie's nappy and Tobes announced that he needed to wee. He can't quite manage holding the toilet seat up and weeing at the same time. Also when I tried to read Tobes a story and Rosie spit up all over both of us then started screaming and I suddenly felt like running out of the flat and down the street while pulling all my hair out. Didn't do it though and we've all survived.

The hardest part so far is watching out for Toby. I remember all too well what it was like being the firstborn and then having everything tipped upside down by the arrival of another baby. I'm desperately trying to be sensitive to Toby's needs and to give him lots of extra cuddles. It is hard though. I seem to be going back and forth between the two of them and it's almost impossible to squeeze out time to rest and take care of myself (she says while sitting at the computer). I'm managing it all fairly well so far but I can see that taking time away from the children is going to be even more important now that there are two of them (hope all my girlfriends reading this are taking note - spa day anyone??).

Rosie is settling into a routine which does make things easier and Toby will start back to school tomorrow after a week off with illness. Rosie eats about every 3-4 hours, which isn't too bad. She is a little spitfire though and, if her milk is delayed, she can rise to shocking levels of volume. It's amazing to see this tiny little thing screaming the house down. She scowls a lot too but she does smile in her sleep so I'm hopeful that she'll be a happier baby than she seems so far. She has the most expressive little face and has mastered a withering look of disdain already (her mother's daughter for sure), especially when we're trying to make her smile. We end up laughing at her scowl which makes her scowl all the more.

When she's dozing she'll often open one eye to see what's going on. If we're doing something that interests her she might open both eyes but, more often than not, we're not worthy of her attention and she'll just doze back to sleep. Such a haughty, grumpy little thing! But obviously absolutely precious with it. I think the rather grand name of Rosamund is going to suit her quite well.

More Rosie Pics

Some pics from Rosie's first week. You can see a little personality starting to emerge...

Our gorgeous girl

Here are some pics of Rosie Rae taken the morning of her birth and during her first couple of days.

Why didn't someone warn me

What a surprising few days it's been. I've had a very hard recovery which seems to surprise none of the medical staff. At one point one of the midwives actually said, and this is a quote, 'Does it feel like someone is sticking a red hot poker into your side?' My reply, while moaning in agony 'Yes!'. 'Oh yea, that's totally normal.'

I'm feeling much better now, though still unable to walk around without holding onto my stomach for fear of my intestines falling out. Apparently there was a lot of scar damage from my previous cesarean and quite a few of my orgnas had grown together so they had to separate them. Gruesome and extremely painful.

Thankfully, to make it all worthwhile we've had a gorgeous baby girl. Rosie is fine and dainty and has a quirky, funny little face. She's the kind of baby who looks wise beyond her years and has been a sweet, easy baby so far (still early days, I know). She's been such a surprise and delight. Very much her own little person already.

Toby seems to adore her. He's held her a lot and given her hundreds of kisses. I think he's looking forward to having a compatriot in the house.

J and I are still adjusting to it all. I've tried to be a laid back second-time Mom but J seems to be doing everything for the first time again and his anxiety is contagious. The trip home from the hospital is a case in point. We got both of the kids strapped into their carseats in the back then I got into the front. I spent almost a year riding in the backseat with Tobes to make sure he didn't spontaneously combust or something and was determined to do things differently this time around. We were just heading off when J said 'I can't see her from here.' I very coolly explained that if she was uncomfortable she would let us know soon enough. J's fear was that her head would fall forward as Toby's sometimes did in the same carseat. We used to fret that he would suffocate or hurt his neck at the very least. Not now though. Now we were cool second-time parents. Everything would be fine.

We got about a hundred yards down the road with J fretting the whole way and me trying to maintain a facade of cool. (Could she actually suffocate??) Then Tobes asked J if Rosie was OK. Toby replied 'Yea, she's being silly.' J and I relaxed. You can't describe a suffocating baby as being silly. Then Tobes elaborated 'She's going like this' he said while lolling his head around loosely on his chest.

Fifteen seconds later we were back on the road again and I was in the backseat with the kids. So much for being cool and relaxed parents.

Tomorrow

Well... tomorrow is the big day. Am I prepared? No. I've got my list of Things to Do which include packing the hospital bags, tidying up my bikini line for the cesarean, charging my phone, etc, etc. I wish I had a similiar list to prepare me mentally and emitionally but I guess with second babies you just don't get the same opportunities to meditate on the situation and the future. You just jump in with both feet and hope for the best.

So, tomorrow we jump and our lives will never be the same again.